Ok. I am back. It is fucking shitty out and I left my God damn umbrella at Strega Nona after consuming 6 martinis during my anniversary dinner. So I had to do it GRANDMA STYLE and put a damn scarf on my head. My straightened locks are not happy.
Mother Nature. Teasing whore. You smite me again! Oooooooh, it's 70 and sunny! But don't get used to it, bitch. Let me spit in your eye. 40 degrees. Rainy. Windy. Suck an egg, you tease.
So, this weekend was totally bi-polar. Friday night BEEEEEEELEW. Saturday night was hella fun. And Sunday was aight.
After getting all dolled up to meet my crew at Durkin's, I discovered my ID was gone. POOF! It just plum disappeared. Got out of my purse, sprouted tiny legs and walked out of my life. I WAS PISSED. I screamed. I paced. Then I went and ordered another one online for $4 (thanks Arizona for being so lenient with that. All the illegal aliens thank you too!)
So I got grumpy and denied repeated requests from H and Fulk to come there anyway and get in sans ID. I said FUCK IT. I went to Chipolte 5 minutes before closing and sat in my bed and ate tacos and watched Family Guy.
Dio came over Saturday, running late as usual, and after being berated by yours truly, he pulled up and demanded that I come outside RIGHT AWAY. I was prepared to duck a sucker punch, but instead, he pointed to my ID, laying face down on the driveway.
Apparently, in addition to leaving my umbrella at the restaurant, the 6 martinis caused me to drop my ID out of my purse. I am a effen moron. I felt ever so silly.
Dio and I soaked up the rays and hung out until a couple of my high school friends came to pick me up for a bachlorette party.
Dio and I right before I headed out for a night of debauchery.
We designed our own purses at Lisa Lill Studio. Then we ate at Maggiano's and maaaaaan was it tasty! We smuggled in copious amounts of wine, so I left there feeling pretty goooood. We went to Fados where I consumed one huge ass dirty martini, then we headed over to The Baton Lounge which is a drag queen cabaret show. Damn! It was pretty entertaining. The web site sucks, though. Maybe the people at Liquid Generation could hook them up with something a hell of a lot better. Lots of potential there...
Julie, Nora and me at the show.
Me (and my bountiful twins, yowza!) Ann and Melissa between acts.
Hey... THIS IS A MAN!!!!
Yo-Yo Smuggling! I love it!
After I ran out of money, we decided to head over to the Holy Grail of random fun: The Hang Uppe.
The whole crew before dancing commenced.
I don't know. Do you?
Holy shit! Who is this girl? It ain't anyone that I know... so we'll just put a bar over her face. That guy was hot. He was asking for it. Right?
I got home via train and cab around 5am.
I am getting too old for this shit. And to all of my friends who came in from the suburbs that left their husbands and fiancees at home and lasted longer than me... I SALUTE YOU!
Dio came over around 12 on Sunday and we headed over to take my 56 year old mom (whose birthday I missed last weekend) to one of the crappiest lunches I have ever head. But I only spent $30, so thumbs up! I LOVE YOU MOMMMA! She brought out her friend's Maltese puppy and I fell in love. I no longer want a cat.
I want THIS. It looks like a stuffed animal! Perfect apartment dog. So after I save up $3000 to buy one from a breeder, I am all over it.
This is my model:
Honestly, it is pretty scary how much that looks like me. Except for one exception: my legs are thinner than that. That bitch got cankles! Love the love handles! So here I am, half-naked on display for all to see. Go play with that site. My special time-wasting gift of the day.
Random Fact Of The Day: It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.