Howdy, y'all!
Where the F did this weekend go? Yeah, I am trying to curb my swearing. Trying to be a proper lady and all... so instead of using my favorite word "fuck" (well second favorite, I really adore the word "pimp" for some reason) I have taken to just saying "F." For example: "Let's go home honey, I wanna F." Now, doesn't that sound MUCH classier? I think so.
Pretty low key yet nice little weekend. Switched it up and went to Dio's house on Thursday and Friday to lay and watch movies on the his huge screen TV in his room.
I was thankful for the shitty weather because I would have felt mighty guilty staying in on a beautiful night. But Chicago is great for that. The weather is usually shitty, so there is ample time to lay around and get fat.
We watched Garden State along with some other concert DVDs. I think Garden State might have moved into my top five favorite movies of all time. It is just so well written and acted. And we all know how newly obsessed I am with Zach Braff. It just gets better every time I see it. My top 5 movies held pretty steadfast until the last year, actually. But now I am re-thinking having Billy Madison as my #1 favorite movie of all time. I mean, what does that say about me? That I am a sophomoric moron? I get tired of explaining how it was a college thing and how we watched it over 200 times and could quote every line. Maybe that should just stay in college. I can't honestly remember the last time I watched it. So Billy, I love you, God knows I do and I'll keep you in the top 5 for sentimentality's sake, but down to #5 you go! So, just for some mental house cleaning, my top 5 is now:
#1. Sideways (I knew right after I saw it that it was going to #1. It is amazing!)
#2. Office Space (I could watch it everyday and never tire of it.)
#3. Garden State
#4. Damn, this is hard. I want to say the Color Purple, because it is a masterpiece, but I also REALLY love Rudy. And Chicago. Holy F, do I love Chicago! When I saw it in the theater, I about shit myself. And Fools Rush In. I have a psuedo-lesbian crush on Salma Hayek. That movie is freakin' adorable. It's another one that I have watched countless times. Wow. Maybe I need to re-think keeping Billy Madison on at all. How could it drop from #1 to not even on the list? Oh crap! I forgot about Old School. And Swingers! Swingers was #2 forever! Well... instead of a top 5, I am going to do a top 9. 9 is my favorite number. Sorry, John Cusack. I can't do it in 5. Oh shit! High Fidelity! I love that movie too. But not enough to make the top 9. So...
#4. Color Purple
#5. Swingers (Vince Vaughn has never been hotter.)
#6. Old School (I think this may just be the funniest movie I have ever seen.)
#7. Rudy (I watched the last 15 minutes on TNT the other day and I still bawled at the end when he finally got put in the game at the end.)
#8. Chicago
#9. Billy Madison
Sorry to Fools Rush In. God knows I love ya, but there is only so much room at the top.
[End tangent.]
Saturday was quite lovely. We had a nice little breakfast at Melrose and watched all the adorable same sex couples enjoy a nice post-coital meal. Melrose has become our place. This marks the 45th time we have eaten there. Sure, the food is good as is the service, but it is our laziness that has driven us to eat there repeatedly. Dio left to go to his godchild's birthday party and I awaited the arrival of my Sista. We got all gussied up and headed to Target to buy housewarming gifts for the party we were going to attend. Target is the only place I have credit since my wallet was stolen, but that's ok.
I love me some Target. I believe I could spend all day wandering the aisles, trying on clothes (shout out to my boy Mossimo! Love ya!) and looking at all the pretty housewares. If someone said "Bethany, you can only shop at one store for the rest of your life." (Why anyone would ever say that is beyond me) it would be Target, 100%. I would miss H&M, but Target is the pinnacle of one-stop shopping. Screw Wal-Mart. None of their stuff is even remotely cute. Same goes for Kmart. And Meijer, sorry... I don't trust Germans.
[End tangent.]
So, my girl Sandy picked us up in her fun Honda Element and we headed over to her place to barbeque on her new baby gas grill. It was a fun little pre-party. We played some Scattergories (which I suck at hard core) and waited for Dio to come pick us up.
We then headed over to The Duke and Hot Josh's apartment warming party. Their place looked straight out of Cribs, yo. It was decorated with an ornate yet simplistic balance only two completely tasteful gay men can muster. Everything was just so. Bowl of green apples? Check! $2,000 designer leather chair? Check! Artfully arranged greenery? Check! Gorgeous matted and framed black and white photography? Check! Dio was one of two straight men there and maaaaan... were the fag hags there to par-tay! I expected a sausagefest, but I was mistaken. I kept the drinking totally in check (pats self on back) so I had my wits about me and remember every minute. I got lots of compliments (gay men really do dole out the best ones) and I gobbled them up like hot buttered popcorn. I had on a pretty fun top, my hair was fabu and I am now tan as all get out. Now if I could just shed these last 15 pounds...
Dio and I about an hour into the soiree.
Sista and I got lots of atention this night...
... and here is why.
Around 1, everyone wanted to head out to the bars, but since some sack of shit stole my wallet last weekend, I am sans ID. So Dio and Sista bit the bullet and pretended they were ok with going home. I think hitting up T-Bell soothed their pain. I went straight to bed and after Dio consumed his usual 6 hard shell tacos with only sour cream and cheese, he thought it would be fun to take pictures of me sleeping.
But I didn't stay asleep after the flash went off. Thanks.
We didn't get out of bed until 12:45 pm. It felt lovely. We rounded up Sista and headed over to The Zephyr Cafe for some food and milk shakes. I really love that place for some reason. It's pretty f'in weird. Tons of different ice cream conncoctions. Odd decor. A full bar. A super random menu. If you have the means, I highly recommend going. It is so choice. Where else can you order a fried PB&J and sip a mimosa?
We then went to Walgreens. I had to get some TP, but it turned into a random buying spree. Sista went across the street with a buttload of quarters to procure me some more HOMIES. "What exactly is a homie?" you ask. Well, read the article, silly! We started out by noticing them at our favorite chicken place "Chicken Hut." I really wanted the one pictured in the article. I have spent many quarters in pursuit of the wheel chair Homie... but to no avail. Well, Sista thought it was her lucky day and used copious amounts of quarters to get him... but to no avail. But that's ok! The homie town above the mantle in the living room is now teaming with new blood. We even got a pimp, which we gathered all the prostitute Homies around. Man, now I wish I took a picture of my Homie village so you knew what the hell I was talking about. I'll do that tonight. Wait for it... wait for it...
But the fun with toys did not stop there, oh no! I bought some colored clay for us to play with. Sista is quite adept at sculpture I must say. But here is what I made...
A cute little Spongebob, just for Dio!
Then I pounded his widdle face in.
Fun times!
This morning, I downloaded the entire Metallica S&M CD to my iTunes. Wow. Amazing. I am not the biggest Metallica fan, but I really dig anything orchestral, and this CD is not to be missed. RAWK ON!
Random Joke Of The Day: The Boss was in quandary. He had to fire somebody. He had it narrowed down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It was an impossible decision, they were both super workers. Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.
Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hang-over after partying all night. She went to the cooler to take an aspirin. The Boss approached her and said: " Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off." "Could you jack off?" she says. "I feel like shit."
Random Fact Of The Day: Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.