Happy Friday ya'll!
In Chicago, it is the perfect day to slit your wrists! So have at it!
How can we go from 80 degrees and sunny on TUESDAY to 30 degrees and shitty as all get out on FRIDAY?!?!?
Mother Nature, once again, I am at a loss. I don't know why you constantly forsake my fair city, but if we ever met, be assured you'd have a boot up your padded ass.
We have a lot to get to. Promise you'll stick around. If you do.... I'll guarantee a little nudity. WAIT! Don't scroll down, asshole. Stay here with me!
This weekend promises to be like all of the rest leading up to this one. If I expect too much, I am sure to be disappointed. If I go into it thinking it is going to suck, it will be mildly fun and memorable. So suck on, weekend! Suck on!
Tonight, I am meeting up with my crew, my clan, my posse and attending a birthday party in the Loop. Sans Dio. It's a BOYS NIGHT OUT for him. God, don't you just love those? Does it not conjure up mental images of beer chugging, ass slapping and hookers?
We were going to go to the Cubs game on Saturday, but since the tarty blond meterologist with the aardvark face on Fox News In The Morning said it might snow, I put a kabosh on those plans. But come rain, sleet or snow, Dio and I are going to see MOBY (who is the creator of my all time favorite song Porcelain) at the Riviera on Saturday night. I am ever so excited! I have no idea what to expect, as I have never seen Moby perform. I am envisioning him sort of standing behind some sort of synthesizer type apparatus while lasers whisk around the room. The crowd should also be pretty interesting. What does a typical Moby fan look like? Can I expect a mosh pit? I'll give a follow-up report come Monday.
Let me take this space to opine a bit about my friend Sandy. I was planning on writing this last week, but time just sort of slipped away from me.
So here goes: An Ode To Sandy
Girl...
You are one bright ray 'o sunshine.
You light up a room.
You make people excited to be where you are.
You know how to have a great time, no matter where you go or who you are with. People get excited when you walk into a room.
"Ooh, Sandy is here! Now the party can START!
You never judge.
You are never cruel.
You take anyone and everyone in with open arms.
You make friends more quickly and easily than anyone I have ever known.
You trust people. You put your faith in them, even when they might not deserve it, but they walk away wanting to be a better person.
I am lucky to have you in my life. And so is anyone that knows you.
Over these past two years, you have become very important to me, and I just wanted to let you know that someone has noticed what a positive impact you have on this world.
I want to be more like you.
Ok, and to continue this random-ass entry, I am going to give you, my faithful readers, some treats. I know it is Friday and productivity is low. You know there are things you should be doing... but wouldn't you rather look at all these links instead?
That's what I thought. Let's go!
First off, I just sent out a mass e-mail to invite people over to my place for the 4th season premiere of my favorite show FAMILY GUY. When I was searching for what time the show started on May 1st, I came across this highly entertaining website. I don't know if I am a big enough fan to actually purchase that CD/DVD, but I am certainly a big enough fan to download it for free off LimeWire.
All week, I have been keeping myself entertained with The Bunny Blog, which contains some of the most entertaining, hilarious and well written stories I have ever read. Bunny is Tucker Max's ex-girlfriend. She's gorgeous, highly intelligent and she lives in Chicago. I really want to be this woman's friend. She is living proof that women can be WAY MORE AMUSING than men. Our minds work in highly complex and twisted ways!
I took this quiz over at my favorite Flash site yesterday. I do love me some Red Bull & vodka. But the Red Bull is tearing my stomach apart. Everytime I throw back 3 or more, my mouth tastes like I have been gargling with battery acid the next day. And that can't be good.
Wanna know where to get some kinky action in your neighborhood? Look here! Perverts and pedophiles and rapists, oh my! I spent about half an hour looking for people I knew on there. It lists addresses and all other vital information. I fucking love the internet.
Man, I feel like I am blowing my proverbial wad with this entry. But I can't resist. Two more item of interest:
Ok, whenever I hear someone arguing that homosexuality is a sin and all homos will burin in hell because the Bible says so, I get so frustrated. My stance is that the Bible was written thousands of years ago by a MAN. Yes, yes, yes, it was written through the word of God and blah blah blah, but it has been written, translated, re-written, made into different editions, etc. So when someone's only argument against homosexuality, and for that matter, pre-martial sex and other hot-button issues is that IT IS A SIN BECAUSE THE BIBLE TELLS US SO AND THE BIBLE IS FINITE AND THE ABSOLUTE WAY WE SHOULD LIVE OUR LIVES, I want to print this out and read it to them verbatim.
Ok, I promised you some nudity. I didn't forget!
I came across a picture yesterday that so sealed the deal for me that Lindsay Lohan has fake titties. DENY ALL YOU WANT, Miss Lohan, but the proof is in the pudding. Your boobs could not look more fake. You can tell those odd-looking nipples once laid right above breasts that needed a training bra. I can see the damn outline of the silicone balloon! No real breasts are shaped like that! It is almost as frightening-looking as Tara Reid's Frankenipple! So for your viewing pleasure... may I present...
Bitch, you ever heard of a little thing called double sided tape?
And with that, I'm out. have a glorious weekend! Be safe! Wrap 'em up!
AND LEAVE ME A COMMENT!
VALIDATE MY EXSISTANCE.