I just found out my grandpa died.
I was at work for 5 minutes, my direct line rings and it was my mom. I just knew. We all knew this was coming. But it doesn't make it any easier.
My mom's dad died way way before I was born and growing up, I really didn't have a grandpa. Him and my grandma divorced when my dad was little. They were divorced for 30 years. My grandpa even remarried and he lived over in Europe. I really have no early memories of him.
But something brought him back. All of a sudden, he was back in all our lives. He tried to make up for not being there in his own way. He even remarried my grandma after 30 years of divorce! In my backyard!
This was awhile ago. In the video footage of the event, I am sporting baggy stone washed jean shorts, a red & white striped shirt, huge plastic red hoop earrings and skyscraper bangs.
My grandma and him didn't fall back in love or anything. I mean, they loved each other in their own way, but more importantly, they respected each other. Financially, their union and living together made sense. But to me, it showed that there is a different side of love. It's not always fireworks and goosebumps and head-over-heels lustful dizzyness. That can grow into something much deeper. An actual friendship.
And that is what they had. They were more like old friends that co-habitated. And it worked for them.
This year, Christmas Eve felt a bit empty. And I filled that empty place with booze... but that's beside the point.
Grandpa always sat at the head of the table. Every year. In his green sweatshirt with the sparkly "Merry Christmas" on it. Every year, we'd get him a cake and celebrate his birthday that took place on the 23rd. And every year he'd tell me the story of how he always had celebrated his birthday on the 16th (my birthday) because the Greek calendar is one week ahead and how he didn't know until he was in his 20's that he was actually born on the 23rd. And every year, I'd pretend I was hearing the story for the first time.
My grandpa and I were never close, persay... but he was there. To share a smoke with sista or tell a tale that we all knew so well. I love my grandma dearly. She is an amazing woman and has this amazing energy. And it hurts my heart to think of her all alone in her apartment. Living alone for the first time in her life.
I knew the last time I saw him would be the last time I saw him alive. He was a shell of his former self. It was time for him to go. So I kissed him on the cheek and said my silent goodbye.
He lived a wonderful life for 92 years, full of love and family. I hope to be that lucky.
I love you, grandpa.