Tick-tock ya don't stop... til the tick-tock ya don't quit...
Oooooh ooooh ooh ooh ooh.
Me, the pop culture whore, did not even watch the Golden Globes last night. I was too busy get my Leo DiCaprio on over in Skokie. Homeboy has come a loooooooong way since "I killed um Gilbert... I killed um!" Even though I thought he deserved the Oscar for so finely portraying a mentally challenged person. I mean, shit, I thought he WAS retarded until I saw him flipping out in the Basketball Diaries. Then I just thought he is either a GREAT actor or just missing a few chromosomes. Well, we know the truth now... don't we? So, to sum it up... The Aviator. Great movie. Look in your cushions. Find $9.25. Go see it. And a tip... cover your eyes during the crashing scene. I didn't and I had nightmares about it last night.
OH! Back to the Golden Globes. Thanks for reminding me. I am going to go look up who won last night. Then I am going comment. Hold please.
Best Motion Picture - Drama: The Aviator
How apropos! Now I can fully comment! Um, well it was better than Closer. That's for sure. Or was it just longer? Hmmmm....
Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy: Sideways
Haven't seen it. Wanna see it. Haven't seen it. Waiting in my queue on NetFlix as we speak. Release date, unknown. I have only seen Eternal Sunshine out of the rest of the nominees. I loved it. Total mind fuck.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama: Leonardo DiCaprio for The Aviator
Yeah... Javier Bardem, Don Cheadle, Johnny Depp, and Liam Neeson can all suck my ass.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama: Hilary Swank for Million Dollar Baby
I saw a preview for it last night. Needless to say, Hilary's slow southern accent was not sexy at all. I don't think I could take it for 90 minutes. That and Clint Eastwood's face looks like an unwashed rhinoceros's ass.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy: Jamie Foxx for Ray
Once again, haven't seen it. No one wanted to go. Daddy made me go see Alfie instead and we walked out halfway through. Way to go, fuckstick! Why am I even commenting? I don't go to see good movies, I only see the swill that only a 13 year old girl would appreciate. But continue to comment, I will.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy: Annette Bening for Being Julia
Aaaaaarugh? Yeah, well I think Kate Winslet kicked ass in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind but Ren�e Zellweger doesn't deserve a Golden Globe for eating Krispy Kremes and then colonicing them out of her lower intestine after the movie wrapped.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture: Clive Owen for Closer
Ok, one I actually saw. He was such a devilish prick in that movie. Very intense. He now haunts me. Go away!
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture: Natalie Portman for Closer
Holy hell! It's a supporting sweep! If you can get a Golden Globe for a gratuitous beaver shot, my bookshelf would be full! I'd have to say that Cate Blanchett as Katherine Hepburn in The Aviator was more deserving. She annoyed the hell out of me with that Parkinson's slur in her speech. And isn't that what fine acting is all about?
Best Director - Motion Picture: Clint Eastwood for Million Dollar Baby
See Hilary Swank comment above.
Best Screenplay - Motion Picture : Sideways
Hello, Netflix! I am not getting any younger!��
Best Original Song - Motion Picture: "Old Habits Die Hard" from Alfie.
Alfie... YOU SUCK!!!!!
Ok, I am going to skip over a few categories. This is getting tedious.
Best Television Series - Drama: "Nip/Tuck"
Never watched. Too squeamish. As for the other nominees... "24" (Never got into. And if you miss the first episode, you're fucked), "Deadwood" (What's that?), "Lost" (Watched the first 2 episodes then started working out on Wednesday's... so um, yeah), "The Sopranos" (See above comment for Nip/Tuck. Man I miss out on A LOT being so damn squeamish!)
Best Television Series - Musical or Comedy: "Desperate Housewives"
Woo hoo! Right out of the gate. Well done! Of course, I missed it last night due to The Aviator. But my devotion is so deep that I programmed my VCR to tape it. I didn't forsee the black out my block experienced last night. So I missed it. For fuck's sake! Television Without Pity... here I come! As for the other nominees... "Arrested Development" (I've heard great things. And you have a leeeeeeesbian. That's hot.), "Entourage" (Can not BELIEVE it got nominated. I love it, but remember I have the taste of a 13 year old girl. I thought it got cancelled. Are they this desperate for nominees?), "Sex and the City" (SNIFF. I miss you. I miss you so. It wouldhave been super duper sweet if they gave this to you, my friends. A nice parting gift. But those fucking bastards have no souls. NEIN!), "Will & Grace" (I only watch you in syndication. I am too busy doing Whippets on Thursdays at 8pm. Plus, I do whatever I can to avoid seeing any part of Joey.)
Skipping mini-series bullshit. Who watches those? Besides my grandma Phyllis.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy: Jason Bateman for "Arrested Development"Ok, in 10 minutes after I wrap this up, I will go to NetFlix and put the first season in my queue. So back off! Matt LeBlanc got nominated? Charlie Sheen for Two And A Half Men? Holy hell. Scraping that barrel, Globes!
Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy: Teri Hatcher for "Desperate Housewives"
I bet that trashy whore Nicolette (do you expect anything less than a trashy whore when you name your girl that?) was ever so jealous! Go get in the Botox line, honey.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Drama: Ian McShane for "Deadwood"
Aaaarumpgh?
Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Drama: Mariska Hargitay for "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit"
Mariska! Mariska! Haaaaaaaaaaaar-git-tay! Aaaaaaye-yi-yi-yi-yi! Andale! Arriba!
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television: William Shatner for "Boston Legal"
Has it honestly come to this?!?!?! Honestly, Jeremy Piven? Hello! I've had my tongue down his throat! Doesn't that deserve something gold and shiny?
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television: Anjelica Huston for Iron Jawed Angels
I bet she was better in the Adams Family.
Ah. That was fun.
On the home front, I stayed in all weekend. Watched movies. Cuddled by the fire. Drank $3.99 bottles of strawberry Wild Vine. Spent 72 consecutive hours with Dio. And he didn't strangle me. he came close last night at dinner, but I am nothing if not a charmer.
I took this quiz this morning. According to The Enquirer I saw last night at Walgreens, where I was standing in line to buy cheap candy for the movie because paying $4.75 for a pack of Sour Patch Kids is fucking ridiculous, Jen and Brad are back together. My plea... please make up your minds. When you go back and forth, it is the kids that suffer the most. Oh anyway, here is the quiz: