So, the other night, I was up at 4am watching Get To The Heart: The Barbara Mandrell Story on WE, Women's Entertainment Television.
It was just one of those things... I knew I SHOULD go to bed and I probably COULD go to bed, but my pull to watch the film in its entirety was just too dang strong. That Maureen McCormick sure can act her ass off! See, in the beginning of the flick, she was so pure and good and sweet. Then she got into this horrible car accident and became a bitter hag. I fully expected her to hit the dashboard head first and yell out "OH, my NOSE!"
But alas, she did not.
Anyway, kudos to Marcia Brady. She prompted me to open up LimeWire and download some Barbara Mandrell... and man alive! Her song names read like a white trash manifesto. There are such gems as:
� I Was Country When Counrty Wasn't Cool
� Married, But Not To Each Other
� Fast Lanes And Country Homes
� It Must Have Been The Mistletoe
� You Can Eat Crackers In My Bed
� Angels Love Bad Men
� Child Support
� Beggin' For Mercy
� Ten Pound Hammer
� Sleeping Single In A Double Bed
No wonder the rest of the world hates us. This is our native music.
Woop! Woop! Raise the roof! I fucking L-O-V-E Halloween! Tonight, we are carving pumpkins and decorating the place for our party. I got my costume on Tuesday night and sadly, I am going to double dip. I decided why not go all out on one costume instead of half-assing it on two? Now, I can not reveal what I am going to be, but it is not all that awesome. My dreams of being Vicki The Robot went down in flames when my frantic searching failed to turn up a puffy sleeved short red dress and a frilly white apron-type-thing. Who dressed that little droid, anyhow? This show was set in the 1980s, not the 1950s!
Speaking of the 80s... anyone watching I Love The 80s 3D? Is it just me, or did they run out of shit to talk about? Calculator watches? Snorks? Two movies starring Kathleen Turner? It seems very low-rent and forced. Now, I love me some Michael Ian Black, but he seems a bit embarrassed to be taking part in this shenanigan. Mo Rocco is WAY overdoing it. Hal Sparks, it just isn't the same. The ad libbing took a back seat to "what are we even talking about? I don't remember that. Give me something to say, then." Shame on you, VH1!
It just ain't an entry anymore without some photography. I know this. But I have none of my own to share. Wait until Tuesday, November 1st. It's going to be a photo-op jammed weekend. Woowee, I bet the bitch will be highly scrollable. But until then, to get us all in the Halloween spirit, here are some awesome costumes:
And here is my awesome city:
And here are some awesomely cute pictures of dogs:
Two more things...
Holy shit I am a certified math RETARD. I failed algebra 152 THREE TIMES in college. Well, to be fair, the first two times was lack of effort on my part. It was my first class at 7:30AM my first semester of college. I just discovered fraternity parties and had a smoking hot boyfriend who didn't have classes until 11AM. I think I went three times total and slept through the final.
The second time, I took it during summer school. It was the summer I had access to my $12,000 trust fund. What was my father thinking, giving $12,000 to a girl living on campus for the summer that had just turned 21? Everyone was my best friend that summer. I was a mad round buyer. My rent was $100 a month... so it was pretty much spent on booze and clothes. I am an idiot. I was always too hungover to compute equations. Plus my boyfriend that summer was a pretty moron and I became dumber by injection.
The third time I failed, I really actually tried a little bit. But I was too distracted by working a full time job and trying to still make it to class.
So the fourth time, I buckled down and passed with a B-. Fuck me. Anyway... this made me feel good after I took it:
You Passed 8th Grade Math |
Congratulations, you got 7/10 correct! |
Random Fact Of The Day: A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.