Ok, I am going to tell you exactly what this diary is for...
It's for me. My own selfish amusement. It's like an online scrapbook where I can go back to any entry and laugh at my attempts to sound witty. I can look back and see how much weight I've gained. How my tan has faded. I can read what people thought of what I had to say.
It is NOT for people to use as fodder for gossip. I really wish I never told anyone in my real life about this page. I wish I had kept it all to myself. I wished I'd stayed selfish.
But I wanted people I care about to have an even deeper glimpse into me.
Now I have to censor myself. I can write exactly what I am feeling because I have to take into consideration who so-and-so will think about it when they read it.
I love D-Land. I love the people I've met through this page. Hi Jo! Hi Oz! I love the people I haven't met that offer me a sweet comment or hilarious observation.
I love reading about all of you. It feels good to get wrapped up in someone eles's life, if only for a minute. To get someone else's take on a situation you might be going through as well. I am a blogger. I revel in it.
So, I have no idea how to proceed. Either I start writing about everyday things that aren't personal to me, or I change names, or I stop writing all together.
OR... maybe the people that look upon this page that know me in real life can take their heads out of their asses and quit spreading rumors about people I love.
Since I got back from San Diego, I have been surrounded by more deception, drama, gossip and back stabbing than any one person should have to endure.
So I have decided to cut a few people out of my life. It hurts me more than words can say since I loved these people with all my heart, but I am worn out. I am emotionally and even physically drained.