Welcome to Bethany's Chicago Auto Show EXTRAVAGANZA!
It's the world's largest Auto Show. Whoopie dee doo! Dio and I went there on Friday night and boy howdy, did we ever have a great time! Dodging rampant and unattended ankle biters and fat suburban housewives who are bored out of their skulls will keep you on your toes. We figured it wouldn't be very packed considering it was a Friday night, but boy were we wrong!
We first ventured to the Honda section so I could see the newest version of Dio's Accord. Ooh la la. Then he pulled me over to...
... the best mini van in the world. I told him there was no such thing and that as long as I lived, I would never own or drive a mini-van. He begged to differ. Since he'd be the one paying for it anyway, I am sure he'll get his way. So I took this picture as an eerie glimpse into my future. We are both soccer players and will most likely produce soccer-playing offspring. The minivan is one thing. One of the white soccer ball stickers in the back window is entirely another. Let me keep at least one shred of dignity.
I fell in love with three cars...
#1. The Dodge Nitro concept SUV. How fuckin' bad ass is this ride?
Honey, take the minivan. I'll be driving this. 2 miles per gallon you say? Who the hell cares? Charge it!
#2. The Chrysler Crossfire Convertible
It's only 49 Gs, baby. And with my stellar credit, the car is as good as mine!
#3. The Jaguar XK
Sweet sassy molassey! What a fine lookin' automobile.
Having never actually sat in a Jaguar, I figured I'd give it a spin. Hi!
The Ford section was a crock of shit. It was over crowded with cheap-ass suburbanites. They wouldn't let you sit in any of their shitty cars. I am a bit bitter because I wanted to see the interior of the new Mustang, but they have those bitches on lock down. The only redeemable part of the whole Ford display was this sweet ass ride...
The Cobra. It was dropped reeeeeeeal low, just what the gansta in me craves, yo.
The 1939 Lincoln Zepyhr Street Rod had to be the pimpinest car up in there. If it were mine, I'd wax it with a diaper and only drive it to church on Sundays.
Dio took a liking to the Audi TT.
Dio says his next ride is going to be the Infiniti G35x. I guess I could roll in that.
And the grandaddy of them all...
The Maybach. The don't let you even breath near these cars. There was a huge cluster of people around the fence, all clamoring to see what the big fuss was about. Sorry. I have seen much sweeter features on Pimp My Ride. Check out the interior...
I am so sure this is worth $359,000! I was really impressed with the interior until i saw the laptop inside had Windows. If that shit was hooked up with a MAC, I'd consider it. Now that's true luxury.
I really enjoyed myself. We had those fresh shake-em-up lemonades and I had a bite of Dio's churro. Mmmm, mmmm. After spending 2 and 1/2 hours oohing and aahing, we headed back to my place and we watched The Color Purple, him for the first time. That movie makes me tear up something fierce.
NEEEEEETTIE!
CEEEEEEEEELIE!
Nothing but DEATH can keep me from it!
And Oprah... you acted your fat ass clean off!
Saturday, I spent $30 on a shitty breakfast (Chicagoans, avoid The Bagel on Broadway unless you like gefilte fish and matzo ball soup. I felt like I was in Woody Allen's wet dream. Complete with young asian girls.) Kinda loafed the rest of the day until it was time to go out. Kind of a boring night, until female roommate and I went to Lalo's on Lincoln for margaritas. We decided we are going to get a 2 bedroom together after our lease is up, so that is a load off my mind. She is a perfect roommate right now. She cleans. She is responsible. She is hella fun. And she practically lives at her boyfriend's place. So Bethany is happy.
Sunday was the First Annual Reading In Bed With Wine & Cheese Day. It was awesome. Dio and I got a couple of bottles of good wine, a few different fine cheeses and a can of mixed nuts. I lit a bunch of candles (and I get to go home tonight and scrape candle wax off everything in sight) and we cozied up and read for a few hours. I felt ever so cultured. I think I might have even regenerated a few brain cells!
I want to make a statement. You can agree with me or not...
SUNDAY NIGHT HAS THE BEST TELEVISION, like, EVER.
Extreme Home Makeover, hands down wins for the best reality show ever. Think about it... it's positive. It's non-exploitive. It changes people's lives. It tugs at the heart strings. It is extremely entertaining. Granted, Ty needs to cool it with the bull horn, but I'd still tag him hardcore.
And then to be followed up by Desperate Housewives... a show I hated at first but decided to give a chance. So glad I did. I gasped out loud when I saw the two boys kissing in the pool. Didn't see that coming! I immediately called Daddy, since I knew he'd appreciate that plot twist. Delicious!
And to top it off... I switch over to VH1 for their Celebreality block. Celebrity Fit club sucks, yet I still watch, but the Surreal Life is a trip! I will be so sad when it comes to a close. Watching Mini-Me get his ass whipped while he groans in pain is simply priceless. Love it!
Random fact of the day: A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.