I have been SLA-ACKIN'. The summer is winding down. Now what? What the hell am I supposed to do with myself?
I saw Fahrenheit 9/11 finally after work last night. I am disturbed. Just plain disturbed. Yes, I know Michael Moore has a brilliant way of slanting things to suit his agenda... but more often than not, I agree with him, being the bleeding heart liberal that I am. The Republican party does nothing for me... a single, middle-class girl struggling to make ends meet. Hey, if you are a rich old guy, by all means, be a Republican. But for those of us that live in the real world... REGISTER TO VOTE. I implore you. I was already registered, but if I wasn't, I would have ran right out and done so after seeing this movie. I can't even go into detail about the feelings invoked while I watched this film. I am sorry, Michael Moore didn't fabricate all this footage. Yes, he edited it cleverly, but you can only go so far with editing. Bush is corrupt. The proof is overwhelming.
And as for John Kerry, if the male lead of Gigli supports you, I am right behind your Herman Munster-looking ass. You seem to be the lesser of two evils.
Anyhoo... it's yet another craptacular summer day in Chicago. Rainy. 60s. Sick of bitching about the weather. Should have moved to San Diego while I had the opportunity. That split-second decision I made to stay seems really foolish now. How different would my life be now? Would I sit up at night worrying about money? Would I still be in a horrendous man-drought? Or would I be sitting on a beach, sipping a mai tai with some guy whose pecs I could grate cheese on, rolling around in $100 bills? I am sure I would be. But instead I am stuck in Chicago. So hey Chicago... stop being a little bitch and treat me with some damn respect!
This past weekend could not compare with the stupendous weekend I had exactly one year ago. But it was one of the better weekends I have had this year. My friend Jen's birthday party was a more successful venture this year, considering she wasn't chucking up vodka shots by 10:30. She actually made it to 2am! As for me, I have never been hit on so much in my life, sadly enough. I think it was the cleavage shirt combined with curly hair and that desperate look in my eye that can only come from the longest amount of time I have gone sans sex since losing my virginity. Yes! I admit it! But that's ok. My time will come. And when it does, these entries will probably either stop being humorous or stop all together. I'll be too busy in the boudoir. So I gave some digits. I got some digits. Then I walked home alone. Go figure.
The next day was our ill-planned party. Julie, Christine and I headed out to procure some alcohol to bring to the beach. We ended up with a gallon of vodka and some 7up. Classy. We proceeded to pour it in a mini-cooler with some ice and cranberry juice and boy howdy! Game on! The White Trash theme of the day started with a bang. We set up some chairs in the front yard in order to get some sun, but then decided to walk over to the beach to catch a glimpse of the Air & Water Show. Boooo-oooring! Been there, done that. We rounded up the posse and headed back to party central. More chairs were brought to the front yard. The keg was tapped. The tent was erected. We lined the chairs up along the sidewalk and started rating passerbys. When that got old, we tried to determine the last time they had sex. When that got too mean, my sweet little female roommate put her chair in the middle of the sidewalk. She is bar none the most entertaining female I have ever some across. She stopped people and asked for lap dances. One super cute, Price William looking kid actually stopped and hung out with us for an hour. We got him a cocktail and he proceeded to give her one of the most sexually explosive lap dances I have ever seen. Granted it was still daylight and people were still walking by and cars were honking, but damn if that boy didn't have some moves. It was pretty apparent at that point he wasn't playing on our team, so we sent him on his way. I went off to the Bears game, thanks to THE LEON They won! Soldier's Field was freakin' awesome! What a great time.
My buddy and I headed back to my place after the game. People came. People drank the beer. People left. The female roommate got bolder and bolder, this time taking to the streets to proposition people. At one point, she was hiking up her skirt and making sexually suggestive poses and our freakin' landlord pulled up. I ran inside, screaming with laughter. How embarrassing, but he seemed pretty cool about it.
I can still do a cartwheel! I would like to thank my good buddy vodka for that discovery. I owe it all to you man!
Getting jiggy in the billard room
In front of the tent
Hot Josh and I
Hot Josh and Mike
Julie and I a few minutes before we went into the tent to make sex noises to freak out her boyfriend. He didn't seem freaked. He seemed a little "something else." Go figure.
Taking a moment to reflect on life in the middle of the street.
The party wound down. One of my friends actually showed up, so we went on the porch to hang out and talk (and smoke... ssssh!) and I notice the tent rolling around in the front yard. It could only be female roommate. So we kept talking and a few minutes later, I notice the tent come to s a slow roll and then a definite stop. So we go to investigate, and there is my adorable roommate, passed out face down in the roof of the tent. So my friend scooped her up and we tucked her in bed.
The next morning, I woke to female roommate yelling to get up and clean. So I rolled over and went back to sleep. 2 hours later, I woke to the smell of a Carolina Pine Forest. I felt guilty, so I got up and threw away the 2 remaining beer bottles that were in my bathroom. Satisfied with my contribution, I flitted off to brunch and chowed down on some biscuits and gravy. Sick.
Hey ladies! This entertained me for an hour yesterday. Give it a whirl.