Hello, everybody! My milkshake does indeed bring all the boys to the yard. And they are like, it is better than ours. I mean, they are really like it is better than ours! I mean, I could teach you, but I would definitely have to charge!
Now let's have some random fun! *Hands at sides* Ready? *Slaps thigh with one hand* OK!
There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party... Then he had a bright idea. When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on. "What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host. "A premature ejaculation," said the man. "I just came in my pants!"
Five things I am wearing:
01. Strapless bra
02. Brown Old Navy flip flops
03. Abercrombie jeans
04. Sliver nailpolish
05. Well, not underwear! I ran out!
Five things I can see:
01. Peter Pan peanut butter
02. A picture of my little sister
03. My AIM buddy list
04. Freesia lotion
05. A roll of tape
Five things I am doing right now:
01. Listening to my party list on iTunes
02. Scratching the side of my face
03. Typing
04. Trying not to think of how hungry I am
05. Trying to think of something clever to insert here
Five things I ate/drank in the last twenty four hours:
01. Crab cakes
02. A Long Island
03. Chicken satays
04. Bud Light
05. A dirty martini
Five things I did so far today:
01. Made out with my roommate
02. Woke up late
03. Rode the bus
04. Called my other roommate
05. Checked out the hottie intern at my office
Five thoughts in my head:
01. Damn I am hungry. Need mashed potatoes.
02. I can't believe I spent $56 at 75 cent beer night!
03. Can't wait to see Molly!
04. Damn, is it 5 pm yet?
05. Why is my face so itchy?
Five names I like:
01. Corey
02. Chloe
03. Taylor
04. Seth
05. Josh
Five objects in my room I love:
01. My furry white pillow
02. My TV
03. My photo albums
04. My Chinese screen
05. My vanity table
Five people I love...
01. Molly
02. Mike
03. Dan
04. Jessi
05. KatiePerry!
Five facts about me:
01. I wish I had a tight little waist
02. My middle name is Joy
03. I need to make more money. I suck at saving it.
04. I am known for my creativity, but I don't feel creative at all lately.
05. I need a man.
Bethany rules!
Not approved by Andrew
Approved by Andrew but not by D-Landers apparently (2.4%)
Hair extensions up on my grill, yo.
Logo I did yesterday for a client of mine's basketball team. Cheesy name though. Barf.
Sign I did for our new mail box. I have too much time on my hands.
A prisoner escapes from prison.� As he's running away, he finds a house and breaks into it where he finds a couple in bed.� He gets the guy out of bed, ties him to a chair, ties up the woman to the bed and while he gets on top of her, he kisses her on the neck, then gets up and goes to the bathroom.� While he's gone, the husband tells the wife, "Listen, this guy is a dangerous prisoner, he probably spent a lot of time in prison, and has not seen a woman in years. I saw the way he kissed your neck.� If he wants sex, don't resist, just do what he tells you.� If he gets angry, he'll kill us.� Be strong honey.� I love you."� To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck.� He was whispering in my ear.� He told me that he found you very sexy, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom.� Be strong honey.� I love you too."
This website is the best and funniest thing I have ever seen. I don't know how they make money. But they look like they are having so much fun. What a fucking kick-ass job! I am so star-struck everytime I see one of them (Elmo, Monkey and Slippy Jenkins, I have seen them all) running around on the street during my lunch hour. Liquid Generation. Winning the award for best Flash website of all time.
And I'll leave you with this. Found it on some pop-up. Couldn't stop looking at it. Hypnotized. Now you can be too.
Comments! Comments! Everyone can leave comments! Long ones! Mean ones! Dirty ones! Clean ones!
This entry was brought to you by the letter R.