I am going to be a google/yahoo/excite/etc. search engine whore today. I am going to put some fucked up combinations of words and see what kind of hits I get. I am really sick of googlers searching for various combination of "monkey pees in mouth" or "monkey sniffs fingers and falls out of tree." I get at least 20 of those A DAY. You sickos! Now if I had to name a band, I would think about...
A Box of Fish with Tartar Sauce
Aardvark Spleen
Abstract Evil Barbie
A Cat Born In An Oven Isn't a Cake
Ancient Chinese Penis
The Archbishop's Enema Fetish
The Ass Baboons of Venus
Baby Shit Brown
Barefoot Hockey Goalie
Barnyard Slut
The Bastard Sons of Johnny Cash
Bedwetter
Beef Masters
Bill Bixby's Big-Ass Communist Eighteen Wheeler
Bimbo Toolshed
Bitch Funky Sex Machine
Bondage A Go Go
Bordering On Retarded
Bozo Porno Circus
The Chain Smokin' Alter Boys
Cherry Coke Enema
Crappy the Clown and the Punch Drunk Monkies
Crashland on Ass-Planet
Daddy's Got the Biggest
Diahrrea Juice and the Pepto Kids
Dwarf Bitch
Ernest Truley's Bare Bottom Spankings and Salvation
Four-Way Anal Touch Fight
Gee That's A Large Beetle I Wonder If It's Poisonous
Habitual Sex Offenders
Hard-drinkin' Housewives
Horny Sack of Beans
Inhale Mary
Inflatable Party Sheep
The Italians Obsessed with Cheese
John Holmes: Cucumber Smuggler
K.Y. and the Backsliders
Lick the Fat Elvis
Mechanical Tampon Fish
Medievil Buffalo Scrotum
Nearly Died Laughing While Shaving My Butt
Not Now I'm Naked
Operation Electric Orgasm
Pineapples From the Dawn of Time
Puking Squirrels from Hell
Rhinohumpers
Pumpin' Ethyl
Sissy Boy Slap Party
Sorry About Your Daughter
Sticky Finger and the Pornos
The Very Idea of Fucking Hitler
Third Global Vagina Torture
Tube Top Momma
Tumor Circus
Two Stroke Boner
Virgin-Whore Complex
White Cotton Panties
White People Lie
Ok, that's enough.
To illustrate tangibly what I have been going on about for 3 entries now... here is a photo of my babydaddyCorey and I on the island he bought us. He likes it when I play "stroke the salami." Especially in front of the natives. Thanks for the inspiration Leon!
How about that Apprentice finale? I have never watched an episode before, but I wanted to see what all the fuss is about, so I watched it at the neighbor's while sipping Sangria. It actually touched home for me... Bill was hired to oversee a building that will be constructed where my newspaper is right now. I do ads for the Sun-Times, and while it is an eyesore of a building, it will be jarring to have a 90 story skyscaper in it's place. It is really beautiful...
Damn, Smokey! It is 80 degrees up in this bitch! I am going to go and get my stuff done so I can go wander around Michigan Ave in my mini skirt. Even though I am broke as hell and have no idea where I will be moving to in 3 weeks, nothing could get me down today. It's Friday, bitches! As JT would sing for 5 million dollars and .5 seconds... "I'm Lovin' It!"