Hey! I made some link buttons. They are a bit more pixelized than I'd like, but shit, I have been messing around with this for too long this morning and I ain't redoin' 'em! So deal with it! Wait! I'm sorry! Don't go! Just link me! I'll link you! Go here. Thanks, puddin' pop!
Three things that irk me about big city livin':
1. When you are in an elevator and the lobby button has already been pushed, but every dingleberry that gets in feels the need to push it AGAIN. This also applies to waiting in the lobby and every person that joins you in the wait just has to push the button. I mean, they really want to make sure that damn elevator is comin'!
2. When you are walking, looking straight ahead, minding your own business, perhaps bopping along to a little Milli Vanilli and some jerkwad cab driver does that little impatient honk thing, as if to say "Why you walking, eh? Get in me cab!" Come on! If I wanted to get in a cab, I would have waved you down, motherfucker!
3. Again, walking down the street, trying to get somewhere quickly, probably on your way to work, maybe trying to burn off a few calories. I mean, your walking right? Especially in the winter when it flippin' frigid, you want to get where you are going as quickly as you possibly can, n'cest pas? No time for lollygagging, no sir! Why is it that I always get these dipshits taking their sweet ass time right in front of me? There is no way to go around them, for some reason, these dregs like to hang out with each other and block the entire sidewalk. I can't go in the street around them for fear of being mowed down be a maniacal cab driver. So I try to bob and weave... bob and weave all the time thinking "Hello, move your asses! It's 20 below and it's no time to window shop, you wastes of skin!
Ah. Better.
I am listening to this beautiful music from Dance With Wolves right now. It is making me sleepy and weepy. And introspective. I come off like this tough chick, (see above) but my insides are just made from marshmallow fluff (so is my tummy). Often I don't think people see me in my entirety. It is easy to categorize people. Put them on a little shelf. Organize friends, enemies and aquaitances into two or three word definitions. Wouldn't be amazing if your inside was outside? I mean, not literally, that would just be plain geee-ross, but if people could look at you and not just notice your lipstick is messed up or that your jeans are too tight... but actually see that you do charity work, that you give great hugs, that you have loved and lost and loved again?
This society is so focused on outer appearances. I know I don't need to tell any of you that. You feel that pressure everyday. The pressure to look your best. Maybe if you are attractive enough, people will stick around and try to actually see those things that are all locked up inside of us. I am sick of worrying about how I look. I feel so lonely lately, and it makes me feel very shallow to think maybe I'll attract someone when I lose some weight, or when I change my hair, or when I finally find the right outfit that flatters my "built like a 10 year old boy with boobs" body. But screw that. I am smart. I am sensitive. I care about people. There are so many things that make me wonderful and maybe when I start attaching more worth to myself, maybe someone else will too.