I am steaming right now. Lately everything has been so fun, so light hearted, so carefree. But today I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders and it sucks ass.
Last night, 2 of my roommates and I went out. I had to work in the morning and so did Casey, so we left only to get home and discover neither one of us had keys. So we called the roommate who did. He says "I don't know what to tell you" and hung up on me and turned off his phone. What a fucking slap in the face! This was the guy I was closest to, and maybe it wouldn't have pissed me off as much had we not crossed a line (many times). So we got ahold of the 4th guy, who came back from his girlfriends at 2am to let us in. I couldn't sleep, I tossed and turned. I got up at 5:15 and got to work by 6. I couldn't concentrate. What is wrong with me? Am I overreacting? I don't think I am. It is not that I am jealous he was hooking up (Oh yeah, he hadn't come home when I left this morning). I mean, I do have feelings for him, but for some reason, that was the least part of my anger at this situation. I just feel betrayed by someone I thought I knew. Someone I have to live with for 11 more months. Someone I have grown to care very much about.
I just feel sick. (Edited to say: We worked it out. He felt SO BAD. He doesn't even remember talking to me. I have done stupid shit when I was drunk, so I understand. It is all good.)