Hello from Chicago, on this bleary T.G.I.Fuckthisweather.
My faith in humanity is a bit shaky.
My reasons are three fold:
#1. Last weekend, at the party I threw for Dio and Daddy, my wallet got stolen. I thought I had simply left it at the bar, but I went back and it was gone. I wasn't too upset. It contained IDs, a credit card (a MAXED OUT credit card) and my Chicago Transit Card. I was only upset by the fact that I couldn't join my friends at the gay bars after the shindig sans ID. I had to go home in a huff.
I checked my status with those cards online Monday morning and I planned to call the bar again, thinking the wallet would have to be there or in someone I knows possession, since everyone in that back room was a friend. Since I knew everything could be replaced, I still wasn't too upset.
I checked my CTA card status and someone had used the card on the Red Line at 2:20 pm on Tuesday. So now I knew the wallet was in the possession of some asshole. I immediately called the credit card company and told them the situation. The lady told me someone has attempted to use my credit card 23 times in the last 3 days. WHAT!!!! How dumb do you have to fucking be?!?!? You STEAL someone's wallet, proceed to try to use the card ONCE, it gets denied, that should be that. You must have some major BALLS to attempt to use it 22 more times! Are some some kind of glutton for punishment? Do think it's going to DENY DENY DENY and then magically work? The stupidity in this situation absolutely dumbfounds me. It was maxed out, asshole. And thank god it was. Fuck you very much.
#2 This morning, I was on the bus and a VERY old man got on right before me. Hearing aid, cane, fuzzy brown cardigan, you know, the whole shebang. The bus was a bit crowded and there were no seats left. Most of the seats were occupied by chubby gay men and stuck up Lincoln Park trixies. Not ONE of these able bodied people offered up their seat to this man. The dude looked like he had one foot in the grave, but everyone seated kinda looked at him and then looked away. He ended up clinging to a hand rail right next to this smug asshole, listening to some iPod rip-off Microsoft wanna-be bullshit MP3 player and wallowing in his own laziness and self-servitude. He glanced up at the geezer but then looked away and pretended to read his latest issue of VOGUE (I am not kidding.) I wanted to smack him in the mouth. Get off your lazy fucking ass and be a decent human being, you pompous, self-centered bitch!
#3 While I was still fuming about the state of people's manners in this country, I was walking to work, with my headphones in. The music was not really loud since I was in a pretty mellow mood this morning. I was actually listening to my "Ballad Mix" file, so I could hear everything around me.
I crossed the street and caught some blue collar boys out of the corner of my eye. One of them exclaimed, loud enough for everyone in a 10 yard radius to hear "Look the tits on that bitch!" He saw my headphones, but I don't even think he cared if I heard or not. His lackey friends all snickered and I immediately fumed. I almost turned around to smack him in the face until I thought about how magnificent my tatas really are. Yes, by all means, grease monkey, admire away... but next time, be more subtle. And if you ever call some woman you don't know a bitch again, your dick will rot off due to lack of use.
Random Fact Of The Day: There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.