Ok, I have tried typing this entry 3 times. I keep crashing! Now I am a MAC GAL... but mine has been acting like a real asshole lately. Come on baby. You know mamma loves you. Now quit acting up and be the sweet little kitten I know you are. I'll even rub your belly. Stroke your keys. Whatever it takes.
If I crash this, fuck it. You are going to just have to read my past entry over and over until your eyes bleed.
Jeepers! I found my new car! A vehicle powered by rage! It's unadulterated genius! I am beside myself. I think the price of gas nowadays is riduc-ufuck-alous. It combines my hatred towards other drivers and pedestrians with my cheapness at purchasing all things related to petrol. The "Tantrum" is even aesthetically pleasing. It promotes hate, violence, and caters to soccer moms! Only in the good 'ol US of A, ladies and gents. The country that brought you Paris Hilton frolicking around with a bunch of cows can do just about anything they set their minds to. All those people with cancer can just step off. There are more important matters at hand!
I had a phone call earlier. Someone I really didn't care about since a special ring didn't sound, but I figured what the hay? I got nothing better to do. Why don't I just answer? So I did. I figured it was going to just be a bill collector, which is a common occurrence. Man, that job would blow. I think I would rather scrape up roadkill than be a bill collector. What a souless bunch they must be.
She started off with "Hello, Mizz Marv-rona-cleez?"
I stifled a groan and said, "This is she."
She asked if I had signed up to win tickets at a trade show.
"Trade show? I don't remember being at any trade show." Unless I went drunk. Hmmm... it's a possibility. I need to stop doing that. The only trade show I can remember going to is the Chicago Auto Show. I don't think a Star Wars Convention counts as a trade show. All we traded at that was tips on how not to get laid.
She went on to tell me I had won 2 "free tickets" to Universal Studios.
Universal Studios... Um. Yeah. Like I want to spend my vacation with toddlers, Japanese tourists, and geriatrics in some humid hellhole. But I decided to humor the poor wench.
"Free? Nothing in this life is free. What's the catch?" I spat out
"There is no catch Mizz Marv-rona-cleese. They are totally free."
"And???"
"Well, if you decide to go, you'll need a place to stay, correct?" she queried.
"A HA! I knew there was a catch!"
"Well, we are prepared to offer you an amazing deal. We are even going to upgrade your tickets to GOLD VIP and give a package for four people to stay at The Blahblahblah hotel for one week for the amazing low price of $498."
"So I can take 3 people? But I only have 2 tickets! 2 people are going to have to sit in the room and I just don't think that is fair."
"Well, they don't have to sit in the hotel. You can buy additional tickets."
"So my free tickets will end up costing me $498 plus buying extra tickets, food, airfare, antiperspirant, souvenirs to remember my fabulous "free trip" and God knows what else?"
"Well..."
"So when you said there was no catch, you lied to me!"
"Ma'am..."
"No listen here. I don't like to be lied to. Can you send me something in the mail about this instead of sucking up my precious airtime? How did you get this job? Isn't telemarketing via cell phone illegal?"
"This isn't telemarketing..."
"You are trying to sell me something over the phone! That is telemarketing! Look it up!"
Then I slammed down the phone.
5 points for me.
No points for her.
Then I became sad. I once was a telemarketer. What a horrendous occupation. I don't take rejection well, so I only lasted 3 days. The third day, I ran out of there crying. I am not a fan of rejection.
I started wondering what led her to become a telemarketer. I know for me, it was the last few weeks before school started again and I wanted to move out of my parent's place and go back down to school early. I needed a job so I could pay the $80 rent that was asked of me by someone I was sub-leasing from. But to choose that as your main vocation? You would have to have some pretty thick-ass skin. You'd have to deal with people like me everyday.
Heaven help you.